The ABCs of what makes a healthy home. The superglue that joins us is God’s love. The basis we build on gives the instructions from the designer of the family. And at the centre of it all is His abiding presence.
(Copied material compiled and adapted from various sources)
Many FAMILIES are FRAGILE, and under STRESS.
Families are HURTING, and need HEALING.
What is the answer?
- Where can the CRUSHED find HEALING?
- What does a home look like where there is HEALING?
- When HEALING happens we return to a HEALTHY STATE.
So WHAT DOES A HEALTHY FAMILY LOOK LIKE? What can we, God helping us, aim for?
What are the ABCs, of WHAT MAKES A HEALTHY HOME?
I aim to address what I see it is that can bring HEALING AND WHOLENESS to families.
What it is that makes A HEALTHY HOME…?
I would like to consider, the ABCs, if you like, of:
The Basis, and
Of WHAT MAKES A HEALTHY HOME.
So, Firstly, the A…
What makes a home?
The AUTHORITY of the Home is CRITICAL.
We have to get THE AUTHORITY right.
I put it to you that the AUTHORITY RULE over the home must be led by LOVE.
AUTHORITY in LOVE
At first, I was thinking of terming the A in the ABCs as the ATMOSPHERE of the Home as being LOVE.
THAT’S TRUE, as well.
But I think it is moreso important how God demonstrates AUTHORITY.
What His plan is, for how authority is meant to be DEMONSTRATED and ADMINISTERED…
What makes a home?
LOVE will permeate this home.
How can this be?
It all starts with our OWN LOVE TOWARD GOD.
When we are saved His love fills our hearts.
His love is shed abroad in our hearts.
…the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
Springing out from this love of God flows our compassion and care for our own family. His love is shed abroad in our hearts.
God’s Love helps us TO BE THE HUSBANDS AND WIVES AND PARENTS we are meant to be. It’s the cement, the glue, that holds us together. It’s when a husband and wife cleave. It’s super glue.
- Harmony and understanding. And,
- Healthy relationships.
And God’s plan, the AUTHORITY STRUCTURE, the godly AUTHORITY MODEL – is MANIFEST BY LOVE.
This is the love that our Lord showed to us, in laying down His life for us. The love that He showed as a humble servant… This is what the man is called to, in delivering his role as husband and father and as provider.
This love is also that which the Proverbs 31 woman is to demonstrate, as the manager of household affairs. In love of her husband and children.
This is the love that parents are called on to impart to their children.
It’s not a make-believe Hollywood type of love.
Not a fake, fleshly emotional film star kind of love that happens when the music plays a certain way.
It’s THE REAL THING.
And it is something that makes a home function, as to THE SCRIPTURAL ROLES of husbands, wives, and parents, and children.
What does TRUE LOVE look like?
This LOVE is DEFINED for us… in…
1 Corinthians 13.
1 Corinthians 13 love is the glue God wants in our homes.
In 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, we read…
Charity suffereth long, and is kind;
God’s Love has AN ENDURING QUALITY.
INBUILT in love is the quality of KINDNESS.
What does KINDNESS look like?
And be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
KINDNESS is like THE GOOD SAMARITAN, putting himself out, going out of his way, giving freely, without thought of getting back in return.
Paul says it’s about being TENDER HEARTED, and FORGIVING.
1 Corinthians 13:4 goes on…
charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
God’s love is not selfish, but self-LESS.
It is not VAIN but SERVES with HUMILITY.
(5) Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
God’s love is considerate.
God’s love will press through.
God’s love will help us overcome evil with good.
My lawn is looking lush and green. I have worked hard planting and fertilising and watering. When I look close there’s soursobs and weeds there. Yet I praise God it is green. I will work on the weeds, but I rejoice in what I do see.
Sometimes we need the grace to overlook the faults in others. That’s why you are here, you have found the grace to overlook my many faults. And I thank God for that. For you. That’s what we need in the family unit. We can all get consumed with fault finding and having a critical spirit. This is what damages churches, and damages relationships. Let’s find the good in our mates and our children and praise that. Hopefully the weeds can be attended to and weeded out.
Let us be our spouse’s best fan and cheerleader.
It goes on, verse 6,
(6) Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
God’s love will delight in doing God’s will.
He is the source of our joy.
Our joy is found in this, fulfilled in this. Verse 7…
(7) Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. (8) Charity never faileth…
God’s love is UNFAILING. I’m glad of that. Aren’t you!?
May we know this kind of love. We don’t give up on each other.
A home with this atmosphere is surely BLESSED OF GOD. He will see us through the storms.
This LOVE TRANSLATES into ACTION.
LOVE is A VERB.
God’s love is…
- SELF SACRIFICIAL love.
- RELENTLESS love.
By God’s Love we die to self.
Love is the answer to SELFISHNESS…
- Love ever GIVES.
- Love is TRUE and FAITHFUL.
- Love FINDS A WAY.
Love is ENDURING and PATIENT…
- Love EXTENDS FORGIVENESS.
- True GENEROSITY is found here.
- True HUMILITY.
In THE HEALTHY HOME we will see
- The DIRECTION by love
- The DISCIPLINE by love.
Everything will be exercised by love
- MOTIVATED by love
- DIRECTED by love
- ADMINISTERED by love.
Love replaces any BITTERNESS with SWEETNESS.
Broken people can find HEALING in GOD’S LOVE.
The family will be held together by cords of love, fastened together by bonds of love.
The husband will lovingly lead, and the wife will lovingly follow the lead, and the children will lovingly honour their parents and we can find harmony in the home.
That is God’s ideal we can pray for and work for.
The ABCs of what makes a home…
- Firstly, we’ve looked at the A…
- The AUTHORITY – the atmosphere of a home must be LOVE.
- Secondly, consider the B – THE BASIS, the FOUNDATION of a home…
What is our BASIS for whatever we are to do?
Including in the home?
The Basis for how we are to live – for our lives, for our homes, is:
So the best way to build a healthy home is that it be BIBLE BASED.
In other words, it is underpinned by Biblical principles.
The scriptures establish THE PATTERN for us to follow…
The answers we seek are found here.
People are ENSLAVED today, because THE TRUTH has yet TO SET THEM FREE.
(31) Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, IF YE CONTINUE IN MY WORD, then are ye my disciples indeed;
(32) And ye shall KNOW THE TRUTH, and THE TRUTH SHALL MAKE YOU FREE.
His WORD is TRUE.
- By His WORD He shows us THE WAY to LIVE and to LOVE.
- This is where TRUE WHOLENESS is found.
As we apply God’s truth in our lives we can come to realise A BIBLE BASED FAMILY.
Let us… reverently…SEARCH the scriptures…
- TEACH them
- RECITE them
- WRITE them
And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
As God’s people the onus is on us to reach out to our children with God’s truth.
Parents, we are called on to stand fast on the Bible. Be the consistent Christlike example to them that they need to see. Grow in the knowledge of the Bible. Bring your children to church as often as you can. Bring your family to Bible study. Bring your family to worship services morning and night and mid week.
In Deuteronomy we are exhorted to have the Word of God prominently evident in our homes:
(20) And thou shalt write them upon the door posts of thine house, and upon thy gates:
We love having Bible texts on the walls of our home. Instil a knowledge of the Bible in your family. Make it live.
STUDY the Scriptures – rightly divide them:
- DISPLAY them.
- PROCLAIM them.
- OBEY them.
- This is WHAT GOD SAYS.
- It is HIS AUTHORITY behind it.
We must follow THE DESIGNER’S INSTRUCTIONS.
As a family let us TEACH our children the SCRIPTURES and SOUND DOCTRINE, and foster in them A LOVE FOR THE WORD OF GOD.
Sadly, we know that REBELLION is what blinds people’s eyes and stops their ears:
Son of man, thou dwellest in the midst of a rebellious house, which have eyes to see, and see not; they have ears to hear, and hear not: for they are a rebellious house.
Let us pray for our children, and our young people, that they will have an open heart and mind – to receive the saving Message of the Saviour in the Bible, to know the Bible, and to receive solid Biblical teaching. This way our children will be able to discern deception and the devil’s lies when they face them.
There is a REVERENCE called for here…
- This Book is HIGHLY ESTEEMED.
- We love the Bible and WE TAKE IT SERIOUSLY.
Most of all, we are called upon to APPLY it…
If the instruction of the Bible is what guides our lives we will know how to handle issues like drink, gambling, moral questions, and concerns like anxiety, and handling life’s problems, and how we are to treat other people.
The Bible shows us our responsibilities within the family.
It gives us the proper understanding of Biblical roles.
THE ANSWERS we seek are found in the Bible.
The Bible has the answer to those burdened down and fatigued.
This is THE SURE FOUNDATION upon which we can build.
The ABCs of what makes a healthy home…
- The A… Let’s pray that the all pervading ATMOSPHERE – the AUTHORITY of our home – will be LOVE.
- Secondly, B – let us aspire to be A BIBLE-BASED FAMILY; and
- Thirdly, C, that we be a CHRIST-CENTRED HOME…
What is at the centre of our home will have the most influence…
What is it that sits, front and centre, in your home?
Some place academic learning, or sports, or entertainment at the centre of their homes. Some place an emphasis on worldly things, or pleasure, or making money.
What is it that makes a home?
I believe that the truly healthy home is one that is Christ-centred.
Christ is at the centre.
It’s about PUTTING FIRST THINGS FIRST…
Let us ENTHRONE our Lord at the very centre of our homes and families…
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Let us PLACE OUR PRIORITY on Him.
Let us make Him OUR AIM.
Let Christ have THE PRE-EMINENCE.
And he is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things he might have the preeminence.
Christ is THE ABSOLUTE HEAD of the home…
- He is the One who is meant TO BE PRE-EMINENT.
- So that He is PRAISED.
- So that the family makes decisions that are CHRIST-HONOURING.
- So the family unit can be a witness.
- So that God is glorified…
It starts with each one of us, to determine to be Christ-centred:
What is it that DRIVES us?
That we FOCUS on?
What makes a home?
- To know the simple message of THE GOSPEL
- To receive Christ by simple faith
- To follow Him in truth
- To lean upon Him, especially when the going gets tough.
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
Do we know CHRIST’S ABIDING PRESENCE in our home? Are we conscious He is with us, in the midst of our family?
Do we fully TRUST Him?
Do we seek to please Him in all our decisions as a family?
Can we PLACE OUR TRUST IN HIM, as a child trusts in its parent’s arms?
(6) In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Families are at the crossroads.
Many carry emotional baggage.
People are bruised.
Perhaps relationships have been damaged.
Even irreparably broken.
Yet we can individually make it our aim,
To come under the Authority of God’s Love.
To seek to be Bible-based in the decisions we make.
And To be Christ centred.
God can give us the strength to choose wisely.
And, as we take this path, He will lead us on.
We can have A CHRIST-CENTRED RELATIONSHIP. A Christ centred home.
- PRAY together
- SERVE God together
- WORSHIP together
- READ THE BIBLE together.
Abide in Him.
Know HIS INDWELLING.
PEACE is found here…
In THE PRESENCE of THE LORD.
He is truly PRESENT, by His Spirit.
This is what truly makes a HOME…
When Christ crosses the threshold and enters in. He brings wholeness.
CHRIST ENTERS INTO hearts – and into HOMES… And He still does today.
- Christ comes in to a wedding feast and He brings blessing to the marriage covenant.
- Christ comes in to the home of the tax collector and He eats with sinners.
- The Lord Jesus visits the home of Mary, Martha and Lazarus in Bethany.
- Christ comes in to the home of Zacchaeus, the hated tax collector, where he brought salvation.
- Christ comes to the house of Jairus, a synagogue leader, where He brought healing to his young daughter…
Where can the hurting find healing?
Christ can enter into a heart by faith.
He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
Christ can restore the wounded, the torn, and the scarred. He heals the broken hearted. He is the One who makes the home.