One church penned the sermon title, "What is hell like?" on their notice board - just below the comment: "Come and hear our choir".
This interesting sign was seen in a cemetery: "People are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own grave."
Signing the Register at a wedding, the best man had difficulty making the ball point pen work. "Put your weight on it," said the Vicar. He duly signed, "John Smith - 80 kilos."
Who would die for a lie? Eleven of the twelve disciples died a martyr's death. (Josh McDowell)
I heard a sad story the other day, when my 14 yo son came home from his friend's home after spending a few days. The mum of the house sat at the computer all day and plays games and doesn't even hear children talking to her, as she is totally absorbed. She is a Christian, but like a lot of others has her values in life all messed up and families and Christian communication is breaking down. (J., Qld)
(Sunday Mail, 24/11/96). Indonesia has a standing army 493,000 strong. Australia's armed forces are just 63,000. Indonesia is responsible for the deaths in East Timor alone of 500, 000 men, women, and children. They lay claim to all Australian territory above the 20 Degree latitude line (ie, the line below Townsville and Tennant Creek). Their maps describe this land as "South Irian". An Indonesian military camp is reportedly located in Australia's Northern Territory. (ACA, Surry Hills, NSW)
According to an old legend, a man became lost in his travels and wandered into a bed of quicksand. Confucius saw the man's predicament and said, "It is evident that men should stay out of such places as this." Next, Buddha observed the situation and said, "Let that man's plight be a lesson to the rest of the world." Then Muhammed came by and said to the sinking man, "Alas, it is the will of God." Finally, Jesus appeared. "Tale my hand, brother," He said, "and I will save you."
Spills, Drills, Thrills, Bills, Ills, Pills, and Wills.
A prominent citizen in town was dying. As he lay in his lovely home, the best doctors surrounding him, he whispered, with a note of despair, "I'm leaving home, I'm leaving home." Across town there lay a solitary figure in surroundings bare. Her modest home contained only the most threadbare of life's essentials. In her eye was a gleam. Before she died she was heard to say, "I'm going home, I'm going home."
The Korean Christians have faced tremendous persecution. A pastor asked some
Korean Christians, "How do you endure such pain and suffering?" The
Korean Christians responded, "We're like nails; the harder you hit us the
deeper we go." (Kerry Skinner)
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